{"id":7179,"date":"2012-04-25T11:30:35","date_gmt":"2012-04-25T11:30:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/?p=7179"},"modified":"2018-01-31T11:46:18","modified_gmt":"2018-01-31T11:46:18","slug":"confessions-of-a-stripper-chapter-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/culture\/confessions-of-a-stripper\/confessions-of-a-stripper-chapter-9\/","title":{"rendered":"Confessions of a stripper Chapter 9"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nothing beats World of Warhammer<\/h1>\n

 <\/p>\n

He\u2019s a first timer, he\u2019s never had a lap dance or even been to a lap dancing club. I reckon he\u2019s probably a virgin.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s a student at the local university and has just turned nineteen. Late night discussions in his union bar has led him to think that he needs to go to a titty bar to have a good time, so he\u2019s dragged along a couple of his maths class mates who both look as uncomfortable as him.<\/p>\n

I sort of feel sorry for them, you know they\u2019d prefer to be playing World of Warcraft online. Instead they think<\/em> this is what they should be doing for a nineteenth birthday but they\u2019re hating every second of it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Their ideal girl is some kind of female pandaren who leads them to Stonecairn Lake and falls in love with their geeky nature, but instead I\u2019m sat in front of them \u2013 small chested, deeply tanned, adorned with false eyelashes and hair extensions persuading them to pay me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I choose the birthday boy, \u00a0skinny, scared and wearing an oversized jumper. He\u2019s like many young nerdy boys I\u2019ve encountered.\u00a0He judges me as much as I judge him. He thinks that I\u00a0have no GCSE\u2019s and a horrendous drug habit. I\u2019m the type of girl his mother warned him about. I remind him of the girls who used to bully him in English class, throwing paper aeroplanes at his head and calling him a nerd.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He\u2019s hard to talk to, very pretentious and is afraid I can\u2019t understand the his advanced vocabulary. I\u2019m am I think stripper on crack so I guess I\u2019m struggling to understand him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I fail to tell him that I have more education qualifications that him, that I went to a red brick university rather than a polytechnic like him (yep, five years on, I\u2019m still snobby about it) and decline to inform him that we probably would have been friends in school considering I indeed was called a geek (ha, look at me now all the horrible girls who shouted \u2018geek\u2019 when I read out aloud in class).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After a boring conversation of trying to understand his academic language (phew, inconspicuous is a hard word isn\u2019t it?) He accepts a dance. I think he\u2019s frightened that if he says no I\u2019ll get my meat head boyfriend to stab him. (FYI I don\u2019t have a meat head boyfriend, quite the opposite actually).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He only agrees if his two mates will come with two girls as well. Eh? He\u2019s in strip club for his birthday and will only get a dance if his friends do? Does he do everything with them? Do they have synchronised wank routines? I never understand why men are scared to go for lap dances on their own? Why the hell would anyone want to see their best mate with a hard on, looking aroused? In a strip club this is quite possibly the gayest thing anyone can do. We all get up to walk to the booths.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gary puts his scrawny hand into this wallet and pulls out the two remaining ten pound notes. He hands them over reluctantly. I explain the rules and spread his boney legs.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As soon as I take my bra off he has a boner already. Definite virgin. I wonder if these are the first set of tits he\u2019s seen in real life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

After the dance Gary moans that it didn\u2019t seem like long enough. I informed him we danced for more than one track and he can stay for longer if he\u2019s willing to pay. He shakes his head and they leave the booths. They won\u2019t be back, they only came so they could tick it off the \u2018stuff to do when you\u2019re at university\u2019 found in their welcome pack when they arrived at the halls of residence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We know that will be their first and last time in a strip club. They leave quickly, World of Warcraft awaits\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nothing beats World of Warhammer   He\u2019s a first timer, he\u2019s never had a lap dance or even been to a lap dancing club. I reckon he\u2019s probably a virgin. He\u2019s a student at the local university and has just turned nineteen. Late night discussions in his union bar has led him to think that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":35,"featured_media":7180,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1204,4159],"tags":[2079,2080,2081],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7179"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/35"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7179"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7179\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7601,"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7179\/revisions\/7601"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelondonlook.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}