Chloe is writing notes when a  strange shifty looking little man walks in.

 

Little Man: I’m not here.

 

Chloe: Who said that.

 

Little Man: don’t be funny, I’m just saying, if anyone asks – you haven’t seen me.

 

Chloe: No, seriously, I can’t see you.

 

 

Little Man: Down here.

 

Chloe: Oh yes. There you are.

 

Little Man: No I’m not – I’m not here.

 

Chloe: Its normal to feel a reluctance …

 

Little Man: No I mean – I’m not supposed to be here – so I’m not. Got it? Good. Anyway, I’m not  here for me, I’m here for a friend. I speak for them.

 

Chloe: You have a friend? Is he invisible? Do you hear voices?

 

Little Man: Can I sit.

 

Chloe: of course, would you like me to give you hand onto the chair. I can get a stool.

 

Little Man: are you being funny.

 

Chloe: you think people don’t take you seriously.

 

Little Man: Lots of people don’t! Ignorant people – they’re all jealous. They haven’t been chosen. Even my wife was jealous. She left in the end, said I was taking things too far. Idiot. She’s doomed now. Doomed …

 

 

Chloe: You’re going to harm you’re wife? I have to tell you that I’m duty bound …

 

Little Man: you can’t tell me anything!

 

Chloe: ah, you like to be in control.

 

Little Man: Not like! I am in control. I paid millions to be where I am and now people have to notice me. I’m in control of loads now.

 

Chloe: Sometimes a need for control indicates a distinct lack of….

 

Little Man: You’re beneath me.

 

Chloe: actually, when we both stand up you’re beneath me. Quite a few inches below.

 

Little Man: Look, the fact is, I’m special. I’m chosen, why won’t people just accept it. I have to jump and down on sofas and criticise people who take anti-depressants and still people don’t listen. They think I’m delusional. I’m not. I’m special.

 

 

Chloe: well, your wife didn’t think you were special. Why do you think…

 

Little Man: I. AM. SPECIAL.

 

Chloe: You don’t really believe that do you? That’s why you’ve given away ridiculous amounts of money to an alien isn’t it. To make you feel special.

 

Little Man: I’m going. This is beneath me. I haven’t paid millions of pounds to be judged by ..

 

Chloe: … Mr Cruise.

 

Little Man: What?

 

 

Chloe: Would you like me to reach the door handle for you?

Tags : Mr Cruise